THE FOLLOWING ARE IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS FOR EVERY
DOG TO KNOW.
Instructions for properly hugging a baby.
1. First, spy a baby.
2. Second, be sure that the object you spied was
indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques. If you smell baby
powder and the wonderful aroma of wet diapers this is indeed a baby.
3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before
actually beginning the hugging process.
*****NOTE: The added slobber should help in future
steps by making the "paw slide" easier.
4. The "paw slide": simply slide paws
around baby and prepare for possible close-up.
5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need
to execute the difficult and patented "hug, smile, and lean" so as to
achieve the best photo quality.
Dogs, if this is properly done, it will secure you a warm, dry, climate-controlled
environment for the rest of your life.
God Bless to all of you!
– Author Unknown.